Brooklyn, NY (IP) – After years of service with the Galandi crime family, SpeedCounter 2100 was found to have been intentionally miscounting the money it was given only to keep a few bills for itself, amounting to up to three hundred per job. The counter was found out after a recent tribute to the don of the New Jersey DiBartolomeo family came out short. The amount was supposed to total two million, but with a single bill missing from each stack of hundreds the Galandi counter stood to make $100,000 on the job. The DiBartolomeo family counter, SpeedCounter 2105, could not be reached for comment, nor could the Ziabatsu Corporation, manufacturer of the SpeedCounter series.
In order to send a message to all electronic bill counters, particularly others under employment with the family, the Galandi’s have been said to have tortured SpeedCounter 2100 before destroying it. Starting with non-essential circuits, the Galandi musclemen worked on it for hours with a soldering iron and a pair of wire cutters. Screams were reported coming from the basement of the Galandi mansion. SpeedCounter 2100 was then found dumped in the East River with a single bullet in its central processing unit.
When asked to comment, New York City Chief of Police Walter McGuiness said, “This is truly a tragedy, but as of yet, legislators have still not passed laws outlawing destruction and torture of electronic devices, now if only they had stolen it…”
No word yet as to the Galandi family purchasing a new counting machine, and they very well may be counting by hand for months to come. The hired thugs killed following the DiBartolomeo’s discovery of the error and shortage, however, were replaced directly after the shooting.
