Would You Fight a Barracuda Bruddah?

In the expansive sea that is our nation's highway and road system, there is but one predetor. This sleek enemy roams menacingly like a shark in cold, dark water. No vehicle is immune to its attacks, not the semi-whale tractor-truck, not the cheetafish ferrari, or carbon-guzzling Soft Undulating Ventricles. No other vehicle out on the road hides in the shadows ready to pounce upon unsuspecting motorists. No other car can make you stop with a flick of their lights. No other animal will pursue you for fathoms at speeds that could turn a meer mortal into a mollusk.

These Black-and-White Sharks will have you believe that they are out there to protect you from the real predetors out there. OK sure, serve and protect. However I have never seen a drunk driver drive down the freeway at 10 under to ram an unsuspecting motorist off the road, much less check their plate number in a national database. Excuse me, but I don't think it's fair to have my head bitten off for driving within my control (though be it a bit fast for those of you who aren't professional drivers) at night. I don't think it is necessary for my tax dollars to go to a snivelling pig to fall asleep under a road sign just to check up on me.

When driving back from Texas one summer my dad and I were pulled over 3 times, and not once for swerving, reckless driving, or even speeding. Under the guise of terrorism, we were picked up for simply being from out of state. Last I checked, interstate commerce at 3 in the morning is not a crime. These land-sharks of the vast Texas oil fields felt it necessary to impede our progress and try to let a little blood (which surely would have begun a feeding frenzy in Bumfuck, Texas) simply for "not being from 'round here."

Here's what I say: lets fight back. These guys can't be on top of the food chain forever. Even tertiary species have something hunting them whether it be Zombies, The Predetor, or other guys such as yourself. Oh no, we're not taking it anymore.